Sri Sadguru Mahime

Author: Charana Dasa

Translator: Shri.Ganesh Prasad

Chapter 47:  When I had to beg for food

My responsibilities at Gurunatha’s house included looking after the cattle, cleaning and feeding them, serving food to the visitors, getting provisions for home, working in the farm and taking care of Gurunatha’s son’s food and other requirements.

It must be around 2004, all of a sudden Gurunatha sent me back to my native. He asked me to visit the nearby math and temples of lord Ganapathi and another Goddess. I had never stayed away from Gurunatha for more than two weeks before, so I was feeling very uneasy.

“My ego and stubbornness have separated me from my Gurunatha” were my thoughts during those days. I did not have a job, did not want to eat at home my situation was bad, but I had to obey Gurunatha’s orders.

After an ordeal of about 48 days, “What next?” was the question bugging me. One day I gathered all the courage, prayed to Gurunatha “if I have to live it shall be with you otherwise I will go wherever my destiny shall take me” and started towards Sakharaya Patna having just enough money to reach there.

Probably around 11.30 am I was in front of Gurunatha’s house. He himself opened the door and said “come in, cook some boiled rice”. The next 2-3 days were smooth and uneventful. After that I started getting scolding from Gurunatha for mistakes of others in the family. It reached a stage where whoever was to err in the family or other disciples or anyone in town, I was scolded.

lt crossed my mind that I might have committed a mistake by coming back here perhaps I should return to my native. The very next moment, I thought I have come here and accepted him as a Guru, my life or death shall happen only at his feet. This was my resolve. The scolding kept on increasing. If his wife called me for any work he would object, “Why do you call him? In the coming days he will call me names”. Just when l was about to break into tears.. He would console me smiling “Leave behind what has happened; in a family such exchange of words is very common.”

He used to keep me with him always, before every scolding he used to tell my tests are not over yet. I used to run towards the cattle shed and pray “O God, never let me go against my Guru’s wish”

This went on for quite some time. Every time I was just about to break down, Gurunatha used to console and pacify me. Next morning, the whole cycle would start again and this must have gone on for about 6 months. Later one day, I along with others was sent to visit an advaith math and get seer’s blessings. It was midnight when we returned. Gurunatha was sleeping in the next room; he called me and asked me to press his legs. After some time thinking that he had fallen asleep I got ready to leave the room. He immediately grabbed my hand and said “Don’t go, sleep here”. He held my hand all night, that moment must have been a milestone in my upliftment. I

had some tests post that incident too. But, they were always followed with advices on how to efficiently manage various responsibilities.

On one Saturday during this time, he called me and said, “See these ladies who practice Soundarya Lahari come here but, Guru will not be present only in this place. He might visit their house in any form isn’t it? So, you shall do one thing. You go and stand in front of each of those houses scold me and beg for alms. He explained the intricacies of the relationship between a Guru and disciple and went on to say “the one going now is not you but me, here wear my footwear” and gave his footwear. Wearing his footwear I set out begging for alms. People around the town knew me well. Even then some of them scolded me... “Here he comes.. stands begging for alms”. l was unmoved. After seeing my persistence some came and gave me some alms. Few others were scared to even come near me.

Once I returned, Gurunatha asked me “How was your experience and what did you learn today? “

l was in tears, “Gurunatha, it was truly a unique experience, I got disrespectful looks, food was thrown at me like as if it was meant for dogs. All of this makes me feel that I should get rid of the ‘me’ in myself and take whatever is given by these people and eat it sitting under a tree; probably it would give immense pleasure. Gurunatha smiled and nodded in agreement.

In between this there was another test, there used to be arguments always between myself and Gurunatha regarding my job. Once I wanted to tease Gurunatha by befriending a girl, later on the whole thing turned up against me and I made a hasty retreat.

In one of those frequent arguments a visibly angry Gurunatha told me “It is me who is holding you back, no matter where you go your job will not be done until I put my signature on it, I am in need of a work from you, once you do that your appointment letter will be at your doorstep, till then being with me is your job. Do you understand?”.

Even then, I used to get anxious due to my own fickle mindedness, insecurities created by other peoples’ stirring comments.

In spite of tests and scolding affection and trust between us never reduced. Guru is a ocean of compassion, his affection is unparalleled.

For Copies of Sadguru Mahime English and Kannada, Guru Bandhus can contact 94810 25416.

Unauthorised copy and distribution in any way without the permission of the Original Author is strictly prohibited.